Love's Letter

Dear Stephen Hooper Brown,

I write this while I should probably wait until my feelings are clear. I figure although I should write how things were before I killed off any feeling. I saw you last night, still thin from your recent sickness. Just seeing you sent my stomach into knots. I keep thinking how lovely it would be to come back to you, to be in your arms always. I know it is best for me to stay out of a relationship with you, and I can just about guess that you still don’t see why. I meant it when I said I didn’t want it to come to us ending. How I hoped it wouldn’t, I had tried very hard to take all the things that hurt, all the things that made me upset, and put them away so I could focus on making you happy. I know that I should have told you how unhappy I was, maybe bluntly, but the thought of you getting upset or hurt about it made me keep it inside. I can’t take back our end, I am glad though that you asked if we could still be friends. When I cried last night, it was because I know I still love you, but I knew I couldn’t take the fighting, the suspicion, even not being able to see you more than an hour a week. I don’t lie when I thought we were meant to be either, I thought it was the real deal. Who knows what God has planned for us? I hope we can still remain in each others lives, no matter what my or your friends say about it. I know I am not the only one this is hard for.


Love, Amber

P.S. – I don’t know if I will show this to you willingly, I would hate to hurt you more.